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I want to climb Harry Styles like a majestic cliff over a violent ocean. I want to tell him the Black Keys suck, and then fuck him while listening to the Black Keys. I want to be at the public performance for my hobby that culminates in a public performance, and look out in the audience, and see Harry Styles pouring a package of Nerds directly into his mouth while checking his iPhone, and laugh really really hard, like the kind of laughter that hits you when you’re high as balls, so physically you actually bend in two.